Three weeks ago today, I found myself in my car, parked outside a medical building that I had not been to in over 10 years. Although it was years ago, I remember sitting in my car in that same parking lot, crying about results from an exam I had just had. I wrote about that in Joy-Tester.
I was unable to hold back my tears. My emotions were right on the surface, only this time the tears were for a blood test I was about to take. I tried to evaluate my response and wondered, “Why am I losing control this time?” It was simply worry and fear. Worry about the future. Fear that the test might reveal results I didn’t want to accept, which led me to worry about what could happen after that. As a young child, I trusted Christ as my Savior, yet didn’t my worry and fear translate that I couldn’t trust Him with my current or future circumstances – with whatever His will is for my life?
Fear is defined as a strong emotion caused by anticipation of danger or anxious concern. Worry is similar, meaning mental distress resulting from concern usually for something impending or anticipated. Yet as Carolina Sandell Berg penned in the song, Day By Day, “I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.”
Why? Because faith’s sweet consolation is my comfort. “God never gives feeling to enable us to trust Him; God never gives feeling to encourage us to trust Him; God never gives feeling to show that we have already and utterly trusted Him. God gives feeling only when He sees that we trust Him apart from all feeling, resting on His own Word, and on His own faithfulness to His promise.” (Streams, September 26). Faith alleviates my feelings and emotions. Faith moves me forward to the next step.
Picture a little girl who is scared of the path ahead, but still, she looks up and takes her daddy’s hand and starts to walk with him. She doesn’t have to be afraid. She just needs to trust. We must put our hand in the hand of God just like that and trust He will lead us, even if we don’t know where we are headed.
“The clinging hand of His child
makes a desperate situation a delight to Him.”
Streams in the Desert, October 14
I have since gotten the results of my test, and although there are still unknowns, I can honestly say I have not worried or been fearful about the situation anymore. I’ve been where you are: desperately wanting to have a baby, and now that I’m on the other side, it is easy for me to say, “have faith, rejoice, and trust.” While that is true, this recent experience brought me back to a place where I could remember what it’s like to be IN that moment where you are right now. I had to trust Him then and I have to trust Him now.
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow,
it only saps today of its joy.”
Leo Buscaglia in Zig Ziglar’s Something to Smile About