One Sunday morning in September 2001, they passed out a flier at church asking for ladies to submit a one-page devotion for a 365-day devotional book to raise funds for a Bible college. I realized this could be an opportunity for me to share something I have learned in the past about my trial of infertility. I could write about joy.
I’ve heard teachers and preachers say sometimes they were being tested on the very subject they were going to teach and preach. It shouldn’t have surprised me then that my test came the very next day.
I had an appointment at 8 am and my husband came with me. The doctor did some tests and an ultrasound; she said the right ovary looked good, but the left ovary was not clear. It appeared to her that the endometriosis was probably growing back. I had suspected as much with some familiar signs during my cycle, but to hear her say it was very discouraging. My eyes started to tear up, and I finally cried when we got to my car.
It suddenly occurred to me that worrying was causing me to lose my joy. I lost my faith and trust in God’s plan for a brief moment. Then I realized this was God’s test for me to see if I could really write about “joy” and how we can have true joy in spite of our circumstances. I had to prove it to myself first – again. I must keep my eyes off my circumstances and on the Lord Jesus Christ. He is constantly abiding, and my joy must abide, too.