When we first got married, my husband and I thought we would wait a few years before trying to get pregnant; we had already talked about it and agreed we wanted four children. That was the easy part – agreeing! Most couples who get married plan when they are going to start having babies and how far apart they want them, don’t they? Well, at the end of those first three years, things weren’t happening the way we planned.
I didn’t like that God wasn’t giving me the life I expected. After 5 years of tests, waiting, laparoscopies for endometriosis, more tests, more waiting, and more surgery, I was getting tired of it all. In the midst of my turmoil, my husband posed a question to me that really stuck with me and made me stop and think about my situation. He said, “When are you going to realize that this is just a trial? Do you want to tell God you aren’t willing to go through it?” With tears, I said, “No.”
So what does “just a trial” mean? A trial is simply a testing. I believe the trial of infertility is a test of faith and patience by suffering. God was putting my faith and patience to the test. Would I pass or fail? I wanted to just skip the test!
Streams in the Desert, February 16th says, “If the affliction is sent for testing us, that our graces may glorify God, it will end when the Lord has made us bear witness to His praise. We would not wish the affliction to depart until God has gotten out of us all the honor which we can possible yield Him. Trial is only for a season. Trial is for a purpose. The very fact of trial proves that there is something in us very precious to our Lord; else He would not spend so much pains and time on us. Christ would not test us if He did not see the precious ore of faith mingled in the rocky matrix of our nature; and it is to bring this out into purity and beauty that He forces us through the fiery ordeal. Be patient, O sufferer! The result will more than compensate for all our trials, when we see how they wrought out the far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” From Tried by Fire