When Will It Be My Turn?

What is quite possibly the hardest part of the journey of infertility?  Waiting.

Waiting for my turn – I remember having nursery duty one night at church and glancing at the list of expectant mothers.  It looked long.  I counted.  13.  Thirteen names on the expectant mothers’ list but not my name.  I shook my head and sighed, “Lord, when will it be my turn?”

Waiting one more month – Early on, it was waiting one more month to see if I would get pregnant that month; that is until the answer would be “no” with the start of my period.  Many times when we were doing tests or treatments, more often than not, I seemed to develop a cyst, so we had to wait one more month for it to resolve.  One of my close friends said people probably tell you it’s just one more month, but it’s still hard to wait.

Streams in the Desert, March 22nd says, “The hardest ingredient in suffering is often time.  A sorrow drags its weary way through long, monotonous years, and day after day returns with the same dull routine of hopeless agony, the heart loses its strength, and without the grace of God, is sure to sink into the very sullenness of despair.  Let us be more careful to learn all the lessons in the school of sorrow than we are anxious for the hour of deliverance.  There is a ‘need-be’ for every lesson, and when we are ready, our deliverance will surely come, and we shall find that we could not have stood in our place of higher service without the very things that were taught us in the ordeal.  Don’t steal tomorrow out of God’s hands.  Give God time to speak to you and reveal His will.  He is never too late; learn to wait.  Learn to wait His time.”


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. woman's health blogger
    Mar 11, 2010 @ 12:49:12

    very moving. thank you . i hope it will be your turn soon.


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