My husband and I have always wanted children. We always talked about how many and the names even when we were dating. We thought we wanted to wait at least a couple of years but never really did anything to prevent it. It wasn’t really until 2-3 years after being married that we really tried to conceive. We took everyone’s advice and ideas and even read books on fertility.
After many times of thinking I was pregnant and getting negative tests, we finally went to the doctor for some answers. They told me that I had low progesterone and put me on Clomid. After a couple months of this and still not conceiving, we gave up for awhile. I finally convinced my husband to go to the doctor to see if everything was all right with him. They found a few things wrong and said that it would not be impossible, but that our chances were pretty slim. We had come to a point that we may never be able to naturally have children, but thought that maybe we could adopt.
The one verse that always got me through was Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” The one person who was the biggest encouragement to me was my pastor’s wife. They also waited a long time to have children and she always knew the right thing to say. She knew exactly what we were going through. Every Mother’s Day, I was always asked to work the nursery since I did not have children. I could not tell you how many baby showers I went to…..and then at night would cry myself to sleep!
We decided to adopt through the Cherokee Nation. We did the background check, fingerprinting, bunches of paper work, and the home study. We were all set and ready to go. The summer of 2003 we took our teens to camp and little did we know that the Lord would call my husband to start a church the following spring! We were excited, but this would put a little damper on our adopting.
That following December I once again took another pregnancy test expecting the same negative results as usual. “SURPRISE!” It was not negative but positive. I had to take a 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th look. I could not believe my eyes. I had to go to the doctor and make sure because I did not believe it. The doctor did confirm that I was pregnant. I remember to this day telling my husband and the look on his face. He sat in the same spot for 45 minutes and was pretty much speechless. We had both requested prayer, week after week, in our church prayer meetings for us to be able to conceive. My husband had quit asking, for he had accepted the fact that we may not ever have children.
So after 10 years of being married we were finally going to have a baby. Our boy is now 5. I would love to naturally be able to have more but it is not happening. I am very thankful for the one we do have. We have now been married over 16 years and have just started doing some foster care in hopes to adopt!
It is always hard to really know why God makes us wait. It is hard to see those around us having children who don’t even really want them. We struggled with family members who weren’t even married having children. I am grateful for the time that my husband and I had together before starting a family. I also know that God was busy training us in the ministry. We were able to focus on the things that God had us to learn to prepare us for where we are now. I realize that every situation is different, but God is always in complete control and knows exactly what we need and when we need it.