Faith-Tester

An excerpt from Streams in the Desert, January 4th, says, “You will never learn faith in comfortable surroundings.  God gives us the promise in a quiet hour; God seals our covenants with great and gracious words, then He steps back and waits to see how much we believe; then He lets the tempter come, and the test seems to contradict all that He has spoken.  It is then that faith wins its crown.  That is the time to look up through the storm, and among the trembling, frightened seamen cry,’I believe God that it shall be even as it was told me.'”

My laparoscopy was scheduled for July 30, 2000.  At my first appointment, my specialist had done an ultrasound and said some things needed to be checked out, including possibly endometriosis.  I had heard that word once before.  Since I didn’t really know what it was all about, I thought nothing of it.  The Lord showed me Psalm 113:9 exactly one week before my outpatient surgery, and I was filled with promise!

Just a short week later, my spirits were dealt the most devastating blow.  I woke up from the laparoscopy, and the first words I asked my husband were, “Do I have endometriosis?”  He said, “Yes.”  I asked, “How bad is it?”  He quietly said, “Pretty bad.”  I just cried silently with tears flowing down my face.  My parents were in the room, too.  I asked my husband to pray for me right then.  He always words good, thoughtful prayers, but I honestly don’t remember what he said and I don’t even think it comforted me too much.  I was just devastated and didn’t expect to hear that I had endometriosis.  I thought at that point I would never get pregnant.

My mom chided me gently and reminded me of the verse God gave me just a week earlier.  She said not to lose faith in that promise just because of what the doctor found.  That comforted me somewhat and reassured me that God was still in control.

After I got home from the hospital, I remember reading about endometriosis in a book my friend loaned me on infertility.  It said if endometriosis is found in early stages, there was still a good chance you could conceive.  I called my doctor the next day and asked her what stage she considered my endometriosis, and she said it was Severe – Stage IV.  What another blow!  I had read in that book that people with Stage IV endometriosis had a very slim chance of conceiving.

Mom was right.  This was one of my tests of faith.

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