“Be Still, My Soul” by Katharina von Schlegel

Lately, I’ve been listening to Meditation – Hymnscapes Volume 3 by David Huff/Crossroads Music.  I am enjoying the instrumental hymns, whether it is for personal devotions, creating a peaceful environment in my home, or in my yoga class, which is where I first heard the CD.  The familiar hymns have ministered to my soul, such [...]

Read Full Post »

Infertility Will Never Leave Me

It had been three years since I set foot in an OB-GYN’s office.  I probably felt the first unexpected twinge as I saw the office name on the door, then another as I walked into the waiting room.  “They’re probably all here for OB not GYN,” I thought, as I looked around at all the [...]

Read Full Post »

Just One of Those Songs

It was a week before Mother’s Day and that morning, my husband had told me about a couple in our church who had just announced they were expecting. I couldn’t remember the last time I had cried through a song. It was hard to look up, but I tried to smile while singing. I couldn’t read my music; it was like a blank, white page, blurred from the tears building up and ready to flow.

Read Full Post »

Our Quest for a Baby: Is Adoption a Yes, No, or Wait?

The adoption attorney called to say a birth mother was expecting twins. I was starting to get excited, hoping that might be the one (two!). After not hearing from her for a couple weeks, I tried calling a couple of times. Finally, she returned my call and asked what she could do for me. As if she didn’t know, I was calling about the twins! She didn’t offer an explanation but said that it didn’t pan out and she would keep looking for us. When I got off the phone, I tried telling my tears, “God is always greater.”

Read Full Post »

With Patience, Wait.

Romans 8:25 says, “But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.”

Read Full Post »

A Silent Sorrow

I felt like most people didn’t know we were struggling with infertility, in part because we are private people and didn’t immediately and readily discuss it outside of family and close friends. Some people probably just assumed we weren’t ready for children or thought that I wanted to be a career woman. But I also felt like I was alone. Initially, I wasn’t aware of anyone in my family, church, or workplace that seemed to have any trouble conceiving. But they probably were there, too, in silent sorrow.

Read Full Post »

“No Need To Doubt Him Now” by Roy E. Coble, Jr. and Sydney G. Coble

“There is no need to doubt Him now. He’ll make a way somehow.
Safely this far, Jesus has brought me. There is no need to doubt Him now.”

Read Full Post »

OK, Lord, I Am Yours.

I wanted what seemingly every woman who gets married expects to happen without any delays (unless planned on her part), hurdles, or complications. I wanted to be pregnant. But I had to come to terms with the fact that the Lord maybe had different plans for me. Perhaps He really was going to answer His promise in Psalm 113:9 by giving me a baby through adoption. I had to learn to give up my desires – what I wanted – and say, OK, Lord, I am yours. I want YOUR will.

Read Full Post »

A Time to Weep and A Time to Mourn

Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 tells us, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” I needed time to mourn the loss of not experiencing pregnancy. One of my close friends said I was grieving my loss and that was natural.

Read Full Post »

“Tears Are a Language God Understands” by Gordon Jensen

“God sees the tears of a broken-hearted soul. He sees your tears and hears them when they fall. God weeps along with man and He takes him by the hand. Tears are a language God understands.”

Read Full Post »

It’s ok to cry.

I understand what it’s like to cry. God understands my tears.

“Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.” Psalm 62:8

Read Full Post »